ADAPT #26 - Advice about giving advice (and the model I use!)

YEW!!!!!

Again I am going to step away from my normal newsletter structure. (What? You don’t know what my normal structure is??? Click here and read my past newsletters and binge on provocation and the discomfort of novelty!)
(oh my god can someone please binge on every newsletter I’ve ever written and then tell me how long it took them and how was it??!! It should be just over 1hr of reading I think).

Sorry, getting distracted.

So, this newsletter I am dedicating to “advice”.

I am going to advise you on how to give and receive advice.

Like we all do, I often seek advice and inevitably give advice.

My kids, my pretty wife, my friends, colleagues, audiences, startups, all give me and take advice from me in some way, shape or form.

When I give advice I always put a caveat:
“My advice is equal parts right and wrong.
Which part is right and which part is wrong is for you to figure out”.

What I mean by this is you must make sure you double-check, get advice from others, see what makes sense and what doesn’t and make up your own mind.

Don’t follow or believe everything I say because it’s half incorrect!

I then add:
“Be careful because when I give advice I sound super confident and correct, but don’t fall for the illusion!
Hahaha, I am 100% sure: 50% is wrong and 50% is right”

So why do I do this?
And why especially with young people or young founders?

I don’t want them to outsource their decision-making to their advisors.

I don’t want them to be lazy and choose to act on the first bit of advice or instruction they get given.

I also don’t want them to have a way to blame someone else… as in: “I did this because I was told to”.

Even if the advice is from a trusted source, and is well intended, you must always triangulate and ensure the final decision to act is yours.

Just because it worked for me, it doesn’t mean it will work for you or under your context and circumstances.

You also have a different make-up, a different way of operating and being, you must adjust the advice and see how it fits with you.

What comes after advice in my experience fits with a little model I use over and over again:

MY ADVICE LITTLE MODEL

• Awareness - now that you have made me aware of “x”, I am going to check with others and see if “x” is in fact something to consider.

• Willingness - ok, so “x” is something to consider, others think the same so I am willing to do something. I will cross-check potential pathways and see which one works for me

• Action - ready to take action and do something about it. The decision is mine, the consequences are mine too.

If you go from advice to immediate action you run the risk of giving yourself the chance to externalise the decision, to delegate ownership.

Yes, I know your friend, or mum or colleague is trying to help you, but they are as imperfect as you are and therefore sense checking is not a bad idea!

There you go!

Catch yourself giving advice and ensure the person you are giving it to knows that you mean well, but, some of it may be wrong…

And if you are receiving advice, always remember to triangulate it with other sources and own your decision!

Here is the paradox - Maybe this advice is 50% incorrect… don’t know exactly which 50 that is!! hahaha!

Make up your own mind ;-)

Love

:-)

Gus

P.S. as you can see “Thursday” won the battle! So this newsletter just turned into a Thursday Newsletter!!

P.P.P.S. Give a friend, colleague, family or whoever some GOOD ADVICE and share with them this newsletter!
It only takes you 10 seconds and helps us a ton!

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My recommendations:

You CANNOT miss this online event series we are organising at Neu21.
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